We Like Sheep - Wandering Astray

So tried to write a blog in response to this question, it kept failing. The question was: Do you believe in the power of prayer? (Yes / No). So I answered no, even though if you asked if me if I prayed, I would say recently yes, I have started to pray again. I think to answer this question clearly you need to have some idea about what real experience people are pointing to when they say: "the power of prayer." I think the common use of the phrase is to point to a time when you were in a situation, felt powerless to change it, had a desired outcome, and hoped some kind of magical incantation, or act of piety would change things. I think the core real experience of people who "believe in the power of prayer" is that desire to influence the future, when you feel totally powerless. I have been there, I have dreamed of control when I really had no say. I have dreamed of power when I felt powerless. But as someone committed to living in what is, not just what I dream, I have to conclude that I really am powerless about many things around me. So I guess in this sense I really think that the "belief in the power of prayer" as commonly used is a delusion not a helpful comfort. A friend of helped me understand this better, he had been married to his wife for 50+ years. She was the love of his life. She had terminal cancer and died from it. Shortly afterwords he confessed to me, that near the end, when the doctors had given her to hospice care professionals. He felt an urge to pray. As we talked about that space, what he said he learned was that prayer can also be an ontological act. It was a way to meditate and confront the twin realities: 1) He did really care what happened here. He was not a disinterested observer. He was willing to do anything he could to change what appeared to be the inevitable outcome. 2) There was absolutely nothing he could do that would have any significant influence on weather his wife would die of cancer or not. If prayer is about opening a space of inner dialog, where you confront the truths that scare you the most. The dissonance that confounds all attempts to resolve. Then prayer can help you live an honest and authentic life. Not powerful, but helpful. That kind of prayer I could use some more of in my own life.